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Saturday, October 28, 2006
happy birthday Maca! 96 years young!
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coming out of teh froggy fog
The past couple days Jamie and I have been moving about as if in a
fog. We’re not really “present” with the kids and are always
distracted. Today, Jamie and I started coming out of our froggies. The
altercation with Aunt Ellen has affected us deeply for different
reasons. Jamie is very concerned about Maca (his grandmother) and and I
keep wondering if this is payback for the way we kicked Michael to the
curb. Granted, we took months and months of warnings, of talking to him
about our expectations and many “second” chances, and Aunt Ellen
decided to kick us out in the space of minutes, but I keep worrying and
wondering. I think about Michael all the time and really think we
failed him. So I keep second-guessing our actions and keep wondering
where he is, if he is warm and safe and healthy.
The kids, on the other hand, are so resiliant that I had begun to wonder if they’d even noticed that we’re not at the farm anymore for all they seemed to care. The cheapie motels were completely booked the night we were frantically looking for lodging so we ended up at the Days Inn. The Days Inn has a lovely indoor pool and the kids are absolutely LOVING it. I had hoped to move to a cheapie but can’t take them away from the pool. It seemed like they didn’t even care about the farm and Jamie and I were moping around for nothing. I talked to them yesterday and found that they were all (except Ellen, who is so used to moving spontaneously that she didn’t even realize that Aunt Ellen had told us to leave) very angry at Aunt Ellen and didn’t want to have anything to do with her. We talked for a while; mostly me and the three eldest, but I hope Ellen absorbed some. We talked about not writing people off; that people make mistakes (and I goofed; Aunt Ellen was NOT drunk or drinking when she kicked us out and I made sure the kids understood that. Jamie tells me Aunt Ellen would be very upset at the kids thinking she was drunk) that she does love them and that just because someone does something incredibly stupid and hurtful, you don’t write them off. You’re very careful about how much you trust them, but especially if they are family, you simply do not write them off. So, Jesse is ok with being with her but Pikey, my black and white boy, cannot see any shades of grey in the situation. Sissy and Ellen are very negative about Aunt Ellen and do not want any contact with her. I’m hoping that with time and maturity they’ll forget or soften. I would like the kids to know their family but I will not allow any unsupervised time with Aunt Ellen. I cannot trust her with the children unless Jamie or myself are present. Since she has yet to initiate any contact, I can’t see that will be an issue.
In simply AMAZING news, however, Grandma Elinor showed up at the Days Inn, unannounced, and paid our entire bill! What an amazing gift! It was such a relief not to have to worry about getting the kids to a cheaper place and telling them the pool would be off limits. Thank you so much, Grandma Elinor!
The kids, on the other hand, are so resiliant that I had begun to wonder if they’d even noticed that we’re not at the farm anymore for all they seemed to care. The cheapie motels were completely booked the night we were frantically looking for lodging so we ended up at the Days Inn. The Days Inn has a lovely indoor pool and the kids are absolutely LOVING it. I had hoped to move to a cheapie but can’t take them away from the pool. It seemed like they didn’t even care about the farm and Jamie and I were moping around for nothing. I talked to them yesterday and found that they were all (except Ellen, who is so used to moving spontaneously that she didn’t even realize that Aunt Ellen had told us to leave) very angry at Aunt Ellen and didn’t want to have anything to do with her. We talked for a while; mostly me and the three eldest, but I hope Ellen absorbed some. We talked about not writing people off; that people make mistakes (and I goofed; Aunt Ellen was NOT drunk or drinking when she kicked us out and I made sure the kids understood that. Jamie tells me Aunt Ellen would be very upset at the kids thinking she was drunk) that she does love them and that just because someone does something incredibly stupid and hurtful, you don’t write them off. You’re very careful about how much you trust them, but especially if they are family, you simply do not write them off. So, Jesse is ok with being with her but Pikey, my black and white boy, cannot see any shades of grey in the situation. Sissy and Ellen are very negative about Aunt Ellen and do not want any contact with her. I’m hoping that with time and maturity they’ll forget or soften. I would like the kids to know their family but I will not allow any unsupervised time with Aunt Ellen. I cannot trust her with the children unless Jamie or myself are present. Since she has yet to initiate any contact, I can’t see that will be an issue.
In simply AMAZING news, however, Grandma Elinor showed up at the Days Inn, unannounced, and paid our entire bill! What an amazing gift! It was such a relief not to have to worry about getting the kids to a cheaper place and telling them the pool would be off limits. Thank you so much, Grandma Elinor!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
shock and awe
So, last night, when we should have been eating the dinner I made, we frantically tidied the trailer, stowed stuff, packed stuff away, hitched up the van in complete darkness, inched backwards down a dark dirt driveway and drove to Neenah looking for a place to stay. We had no idea where to go and after trying a couple places ended up at the Day’s Inn. We need electricity to run the heater as it gets quite below freezing at night here.
So I’m still in shock. I keep turning it over and over in my head; I wasn’t around for the argument, I was in the trailer with the kids, and I can’t wrap my mind around how this can be ok. How does she justify this? We used not one crumb of her food, we cooked dinner for her, Maca and Nate nightly (though I found out she hates all the foods I cooked), we did use her washing machine (I told Jamie not to
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Friday, October 20, 2006
La Porte, Indiana
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The leaves are changing and changing and changing and I wish I could stop so many places to photo the leaves. The sun has been most uncooperative, however, so the urge was not strong until this morning when it made a spectacular appearance. I can’t remember the last sunny day; I suspect it was sometime in Howe. We spent two nights at the Oakwood Inn in Syracuse while Ameri-Camp worked two very full, long days repairing the slide. I have to say that it works better now than it ever did. They changed the gearing and all kinds of stuff. I’m not sure that there is anything that was NOT replaced, other than the room itself. We boondocked in Shipshe, next to the library, that night and found that the nights are simply too cold and the days too cold and grey to continue boondocking, so we found a terribly depressing “campground” and promptly got stuck in the mud. Old hands at getting stuck, we simply dropped the trailer and headed to the “Sock Hop” at the library and got unstuck this morning on our way out.
We fell deeply and terribly in love with the Bulk Food store in Shipshe (quasi-locals, we call Shipshewana by its nickname “Shipshe”). Amish food in incredible variety and incredibly low prices. We actually went back three days in a row. The roast beast (roast beef to anyone not related to me) was so tender and excellent that we got Mass Quantities to stuff into the freezer. The syrups were devoid of high fructose corn sweetner and I got mass quantities of those also. I’ve never seen such variety and quantity; where else can you find bags of colored mOOnmallows* the size of a toddler? I finally caved and purchased Amish Peanut Butter, and it is as good as it might sound.
We have moved about 100 miles west and are parked near the tollroad. This is our first sight of an interstate since we left Santa Fe, New Mexico. It is loud, it is noisy, but our blood being so thin and all, we need the juice to run the heater so we don’t wake up frozen to the core. We’re actually parked at a motel, stringing an electric cord, as the campground was so muddy we decided not to even try. Tomorrow we head for Costco (we’re almost out of BEANS (the caffeine variety) and oragnic peanut butter and many other things we probably don’t need) and then we might get to Grandma Elinor’s before Christmas.
I still can’t believe we’re heading North when the weather is already more than cold enough, thank you. We should be south. Very very very south. No, more than that. Nope, a bit more; there you go. THAT south!
* edited to please the Moon God and to keep my sanity intact.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Growing roots
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Thursday, October 12, 2006
Real estate p0rn
This is one of the reasons we’re going “SCHWIIIIINGG” at the homes out here… Here is another; Jamie and I are crying about this one… This has lovely acerage and we love the town of Bristol… Here is another lovely Bristol home… My heart about stopped looking at this house… And if this is what they consider a “starter” home in Nappanee, well, you can just shoot me now.
It snowed today; weird for me, because I expect different weather for snow, having been in snow about twice in my adult life. It would be sunny and blue skied and snow coming sideways (due to incredible wind), then black clouds and lots of snow, the sunny and blue and snow all gone. Weird. We spent the afternoon at the Bristol thriftstore getting coats for the girls, mittens and hats for everyone and boots for the boys. I think we’re now ready for our month of cold.
After perusing a few more real estate listings, I have come to the conclusion that Jamie and I should most definitely, stay Very Far Away from Elkhart. Otherwise, we might be spending the winter in a gorgeous old farmhouse. Something like THIS one. I wonder if we could move this one to Chama?
It snowed today; weird for me, because I expect different weather for snow, having been in snow about twice in my adult life. It would be sunny and blue skied and snow coming sideways (due to incredible wind), then black clouds and lots of snow, the sunny and blue and snow all gone. Weird. We spent the afternoon at the Bristol thriftstore getting coats for the girls, mittens and hats for everyone and boots for the boys. I think we’re now ready for our month of cold.
After perusing a few more real estate listings, I have come to the conclusion that Jamie and I should most definitely, stay Very Far Away from Elkhart. Otherwise, we might be spending the winter in a gorgeous old farmhouse. Something like THIS one. I wonder if we could move this one to Chama?
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
This must be why I love him
He’s got chicken soup on the stove, just cranked the stereo and is
hip thrusting to “Burning Down the House” and he knows All The Lyrics.
He’s cooking up grilled cheese with the Amish cheese and bread we bought
yesterday and while he is doing NOTHING the way *I* would do it, but
he’s doing it, he’s listening to pure crap (i’d have NPR on), he’s
dancing with the kids and he’s goofy beyond belief. And I love him.
Fat and sugar and all things refined
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006
International "buy Amish" Day
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We are absolutely LOVING the northern Indiana countryside. Like Kansas, we never expected to spend any time here other than time waiting for the trailer to be fixed. We are loving the small Amish farms, the lovely rolling hills, the gorgeous fall colors and the quiet streams and rivers. It is absolutely beautiful here; we must have picked the perfect time to visit. There are renegade mosquitoes about and I can only imagine how fierce they must be in Summer. We have visited many of the towns in the area, La Grange, Shipshewana (aka Shipshe), Bristol, Howe, Honeyville, Goshen (a very large town) and Benton, but find that the most touristy is also the most “Amishy”, Shipshewana. There are buggies absolutely EVERYWHERE and the roads sport large, wide shoulders for their travel. It still must be absolutely nerve-wracking as the horse seem to be terribly spooked by the cars. I can’t imagine how terrifying it must be in Summer when the tourist population explodes.
Each and every day I have so much I want to record here and by the time I’m at the laptop it has all escaped. There is so much we’ve done over the past few days and many memories I wanted to record, but it is all gone. I suppose I should force myself to sit down every day, but I’m verbose enough as it is; I just might be responsible for death by boredom. The other day we celebrated Ellen’s 5th birthday. It is odd, after 12 years of babies, to have a five year old as your youngest child. She is so much a first child personality and very much like her brother Jesse.
Tomorrow we plan to visit the Indiana Dunes State Park (or National Lakeshore); dunes in Indiana? Who knew??? It is getting colder and colder and it is all I can do to keep the car pointed northward. Next year we do the Midwest in Summer. Course, then I’ll be complaining about the heat, humidity and incessant mosquitoes.
Friday, October 6, 2006
Ameri-Camp rocks our world!!
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So, we headed not too far up the road to Benton or Benson or some tiny town a little south of Goshen and tomorrow will go a bit more north to Middlesomething to a Mill. Or maybe we’ll stay here. We’re at a spillway on the Elkhart river and Pikey is certain to get some fishing in. The moon is enormously full and we are loving the Amish country. I really need to post about the fun we’ve had here in northern Indiana, but I need to sleep more. Maybe tomorrow.
Monday, October 2, 2006
syracuse, Indiana
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It only took us a couple hours to go over the list and pack up, drop the trailer and leave but we somehow managed to leave the trailer without packing absolutely everything from it in the van.
We drove around town a bit; very very many of the homes have docks and boats tied up behind them in place of backyards, found the Post Office (where mail and a phone await me) and the library (where the Jesse wanted to immediately head to) and after getting lost only once, found the Inn. I didn’t expect to be able to check in; I just wanted to see if they had a place for the kids to swim, but they were unexpectedly ready for us. I still have no idea who is paying for the room, AmeriCamp or us, but the kids are in absolute heaven. The bathtub is larger than any tub we’ve ever seen. The room is about twice as large as our trailer, there are TWO lazy-boy type chairs, a closet the size of a bedroom, a hallway and a bathroom the size of a kitchen. I guess they make everything bigger out here. A balcony surrounds one wall of the room and an interior atrium outside our room. We have a lovely view of a lake or one lake or some lakes; there seem to be many lakes here in the Syracuse area. The kids are astounded and so excited by the luxury of it all. The very first item on order was a bath. Both girls were swimming in the extra large tub; then Jamie and Pike shared a bath and now Jesse is bathing. As the kids got somewhat hungry they started making sandwiches from the fixings I bought and were fainting with happiness when I walked in with the lunch special. Three pieces of Amish fried chicken, garlic mashed potatoes and a salad. They are now sipping coffee and Jamie and I are cleaning up the leftovers.
I doubt they will want to leave the room; it is enormous (compared to our normal home), luxurious beyond belief and so relaxing. They keep exclaiming, “it couldn’t get ANY better than THIS!” and sigh and smile and giggle and laugh and appreciate. We’ve been thanked a million times and told that we’re the Best Mom/Dad ever and as their bellies fill, they are finally slowing down…
Farmhouse havens
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We obviously LOVED Chase County Ole Fishin Hole. Fishermen arrived daily at dawn and late afternoon (there seemed to be two seperate shifts) for fishing. Pike was so inspired by the fish and the prospect of getting a fish that he fashioned a pole out of a tree branch, scrounged line from the shore, found a bouy and a weight and tried and tried. He even found a rubber worm but the fish were not interested in his treat.
The rest of Kansas, from Cottonwood Falls to KC, MO was flat and windy. We had steady crosswinds and sometimes a tiny fraction of a headwind, but mostly it was a hard, driving, diesel guzzling wind. It was hot hot hot hot hot also; hard to go from snow and freezing temperatures to mid 90’s. Missouri was hilly. Roller coaster hill and valley and hill and valley. We stuck to the backroads, even trying to make up mileage and it was lovely to have Jamie in the passenger seat to navigate, get stuff for the kids and talk to. We do most of our talking while driving and had really missed that when he was driving the Westy with Michael. I oscillate between guilt that we didn’t do enough or the right thing or something that wasn’t “enough” on our part for Michael and anger at him for not trying. I think about him all the time, especially at night when I wonder where he has driven to, how he is coping and what he’s experiencing. I wonder if we’ll ever see him again…
We took highway 36 straight across the state and found an absolutely LOVELY state park in Missour in Macon. Long Branch State Park has basic camping sites for $8, electric for $14, electric and water for $15 and full hookups for $17. We decided that we were just going to sleep and if we stayed at the campground the kids would want to stay for days and days and we’re running out of weather to dawdle so much. We stopped at a wonderful playground and the kids played, we made dinner and cleaned up. While the kids played long into dusk, the campground host from the state park took it upon himself to drive by and tell us we couldn’t park there. I remembered the sign at the playground entrance notifying the public that it closed at 10pm and was about to speak up he finally got across to Jamie that we couldn’t camp the night there. I was doing an amazing impression of white trash by taking an outside shower (at the trailer) and washing my hair for the first time in over a week. I was topless, trying to get a good washing in and thought for certain he was going to tell Jamie to “get some clothes on your nekkid woman” but he never knew I was there. We drove on into the night and spent the night at the Welcome Center (to Missouri; we were about to leave) in Hannibal. I SO wanted to let the boys explore Hannibal as they have been reading and listening (on MP3) to “Tom Sawyer” and “Huck Finn” since we started our journey. They put it down and then engross themselves again, and this week has been a Mark Twain week. They were so excited as we drove through downtown this morning and I pointed out various Samuel Clemens landmarks. I really hope we get back to Hannibal to let them explore another time.
I was up at the very early hour of 7am today, make pancakes and breakfast boxes for the kids, coffee for myself and readied the car for travel. It still took us until 8:30 to leave. We drove around downtown Hannibal and marveled at all the real estate porn (I swear, houses just keep getting more and more impressive the further east we travel) and made our way across the mighty Mississippi. The kids were suitably impressed.
Today we crossed Illinois and Will finish with Indiana once we stop for the night. We are parked in an enormously flat church parking lot now, bathing the kids after dinner and I’ll drive the remaining 75 or so miles to Syracuse and the AmeriCamp factory before stopping for a good long while. We all hate traveling this way and I’m as glad to stop the mileage as the kids will be. Today we took I72 across Illinois to Springfield, where the kids are CERTAIN that the Simpons live and were not the least bit impressed at Abe Lincoln’s home. Jamie took the wheel outside Springfield and we took highway 54 northeast and fell more and more in lust with the enormous farmhouses and gorgeous enormous craftsman homes lining the streets of the tiny towns. We stopped in the town of Watseka, just before Indiana and found a lovely park for the kids to play at. I surprised them with ice-cream cones and I’m not sure anyone had lunch. If we had not yet been impressed with the real estate porn of Missouri and Illinois, Indiana has shown us that we ain’t seen nothin yet. The paint may be peeling, roofs rotting, porches falling, but the architecture, turrets, Victorians, farmhouses, old barns; they are all pure and unadulterated real estate porn. And we’re lusting more than Jimmy Carter ever considered possible. We took highway 24 across Indiana to Logansport (where we are right now) and will now head north (where we would have had a tailwind these past two days) on 25 to 31, then over 6 (or something that looks like “6″ to these old eyes) and then we’re almost there. Indiana seems to be going by so quickly; even stopping (because that’s what the road does) in each and every little town.
I’m thinking we’ll be at AmeriCamp getting repairs done for a week or so, then up to Grandma Elinor’s for Halloween. After weeks of listening to “Little House in the Big Woods” and “Little House on the Prarie”, I’m looking forward to Pepin, Wisconsin and the Little House museum.
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